Friday, October 22, 2010

I Was Never Martha Stewart But . . . .

Mid-life Sucks!!
(a rant)

I'm in my "mid" sixties now. I even hate saying it. I am going kicking and screaming into older age. I was always a Martha wanna be and watched her from the very beginning and got her books when her and I were much younger. I loved to watch her decorate and redo her old houses. That was especially interesting to me. I always wanted a century home to fix up and now I do have one. I did crafty things. One year I made all my own Christmas wrapping paper by stamping and painting on brown wapping paper. Oh yes, it looked very Martha. I was good at multi-tasking back then. Now I barely can remember the one thing I'm doing. Well now I've been through menopause and I'm much more tired. I speak my mind most of the time and don't worry about being that tactful! (That is actually sort of freeing!) It takes me a lot longer to get going in the morning and I have to push myself to do things. (Everything but the horses! : ))
I never used to worry about anything. Even though I had a high stress job; an RN in the Emergency room, things never really bothered me. Maybe that's because I always knew my husband was there to take care of everything. Now he is gone and I've turned into my mother, and worry and stress over a lot. This last thing about Satire and his surgery and narrow escape almost put me over the edge, I swear. I am still having some anxiety attacks from it. I try all the time to turn things over to God but it is so hard.
I'm a long time hormone user. I tried to go off of them once and I had so many bad effects that the doctor put me back on them. It is so surprising to me that female hormones effect sooooo many things. I'm not sure I could even ride my horses without them. I was much stiffer and achy, and the hot flashes came back as bad as ever. But the one thing people don't realize is that after you go off of them you start to "feel" old. I mean you really do! Your whole attitude changes. At least mine did before I got my doc to give them back to me by practically threatening him with a gun!!!!! I figure quality of life is most important to me and I'll take the risks. I am a child of God and I know he will take care of me.
Enough of that!!! You know, I never did cook much, I mean I made what was necessary when my husband was alive and I had my children still here but I never really liked cooking. Heaven knows I never planned meals except for times like Thanksgiving and Christmas. Still it just amazes me that there are a lot of women that actually sit down and are organized enough to plan a weekly menu and then shop for the things needed. I think the only time I think more than an hour ahead is when I'm doing something in the crock pot and you have to actually do that in the morning! I must say that since I had my kitchen remodeled that I am cooking more and actually enjoying it at times!
Right now, three main rooms of my house are clean and organized but I keep putting off the other rooms. My problem it that I have to de-clutter and throw or give more away. I start out real good then am easily distracted! I always have great plans for the next morning but when I wake up I'm still tired and end up either taking another day for myself or go to be with the horses. Oh, well, no one is watching. As long as I can sort of clean up by Thanksgiving since I'm having it here and, oh yes, plan a menu!! I'm more excited about the tablescaping in my new dining room.
Well that's my rant for lots of months ahead I hope. Sorry : ))


  1. Some days being a girl isn't all it's cracked up to be. I am a firm believer that Martha Stewart should be shot and drug through the streets. No one is like that,ever.
    I don't plan a menu- we eat what's on sale- I'm cheap.
    I throw things in a pot- because I don't like recipes.
    I would rather be with the horses, too. I think you are just in your right mind, and that scares most people.
    With age, we get attitude. That's what gets us out of bed in the morning and keeps us moving, in spite of those dern hot flashes. Gore's been trying to tell everyone it's global warming, but it's not. It's too many of us smoldering from the baby boomers on back.
    You go ahead and do it your way. You will be more happier that way. And you kiss all your horses for me.
    Hugs- Tete

  2. I'm mid 50's Shirley and feel much the same as you! I sleep badly, so rarely go to bed before 2am, but surprisingly I'm usually awake by 7.30. I won't take hormones and I'm still suffering hot flashes on and off. I used to love cooking - but I'm getting that I just can't be bothered :o( As for de-cluttering and clearing out stuff..well the less said about that the better. I've stopped trying to beat myself up though...we just go out more to eat and I take longer to do housework!
    You could ask that each person brings a dish to Thanksgiving - then it's a real shared meal, less pressure one everyone:o)
    Have a restful weekend
    Rose H

  3. Bravo, rant more worry less Shirley!! keep up the Hormones though for sure :)

  4. Menopause was the best thing to happen to me as it stopped my daily headaches. My symptoms were minimal. I feel pretty darned good.
    I totally know how easy it is to get distracted during the clean up. Good luck with that and make you menus simple.
    I have noticed through the years that a good deal of the things we put out don't really get touched. Do we really need trays of pickles and olives? Do we need bread or buns with a turkey filled with stuffing? Do we need 4 types of veggies or will 2 do? Keep it simple and enjoy your guests.

  5. I have to agree with the others. You've earned your right to have attitude. I need to get myself busy too with organizing and getting rid of things I really don't need or use. I do love to cook though. But I don't plan my meals so much either. As for the hormones, I never took them so I don't know what I missed. And fortunately I never had bad hot flashes. Have a good weekend.

  6. Shirley,
    I am where you are too!!!! Energy....what is energy???? I am going back on hormones! I am already on a major drug for my RA that is going to shorten my lifespan, I might as well have some pep!!!!!! Thanks for writing this I don't have to!!!!! LOL I love spending time with your horses....:) Sandy

  7. Shirley, I could have written your article, except for the part about horses. I stopped hormore replacement theapy for about 1 year, I was MISERABE!. I have started back taking hormones, they do help some of symptoms. I understand everything you are writing about and wish we could find a solution to problems, but it does help to know your not alone in these situations.

  8. I like what was said above "rant more worry less" it makes good sense.

    Martha is absolutely great for inspiration -- but keep in mind her life has not been perfect. Real life has it's ups and downs and you are keeping it real.

    The illness of a loved one (human or animal) is the thing that I feel most stressed with -- it's enough to put anyone over the edge. Actually it was stress times 2. Stress over Satire and stress for seeing about your daughter go through medical limbo with Satire.


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